The Connect With Purpose Project
Your purpose is not some distant destination reserved for a few—it’s already within you, waiting to be heard. Often, it’s in the quiet whispers we try to ignore that hold the key to our deepest calling. This podcast is about listening to those whispers and taking the first steps, even when it feels scary.
Our guests have faced the same struggles—feeling stuck, unsure, or burned out—but found their way by trusting that inner voice. If you’re alive, your mission is not complete. You’re here for a reason.
The Connect With Purpose Project
Do Nothing, Get Bored, Be Brilliant
What if you could redefine success by aligning your career with your deepest values? In this episode, we sit down with Ramli John, founder of Delight Path and author of the bestselling Product-Led Onboarding, to explore his journey from high-stakes roles in the SaaS industry to building a purpose-driven brand. With over 19,000 LinkedIn followers and a personal brand that emphasizes genuine connection, Ramli shares how consistent content creation and authentic interactions have been the pillars of his thriving online presence.
Our conversation delves into the courage it takes to prioritize personal values over financial gain, and the powerful shift from transactional relationships to meaningful, lasting connections. Ramli also opens up about balancing his professional life with parenthood, navigating North America’s relentless work culture, and the legacy he hopes to leave for future generations.
Explore the pivotal role of mentorship, as Ramli recounts the impact of his mentor, Wes Bush, who helped him overcome self-doubt and stay true to his purpose. A testament to resilience, Ramli has lead SaaS startups through challenging pivots and talks about overcoming a family health crises that shifted his perspective on life and work.
Ramli’s insights remind us of the importance of living a purpose-driven life, building community, and making a lasting impact by valuing people above all else.
***
Know someone who's flipped the table on their career to follow their life's purpose? Let us know at titan-one.co.
That put a lot of perspective into like about like, hard choices and easy life. How you're saying yes to things means that you're saying no to others. It may be value time spent, not like overworking rather than spending more time with with family and, you know, making sure that I'm setting them up for success.
Nicole:Hello and welcome to Connect With Purpose, where we uncover the journeys of remarkable people who have turned their passions into a purpose-driven life. I'm your host, Nicole Gottselig. Whether you're on your own quest for meaning or simply curious how others have navigated their paths, this show is here to inspire and guide you along the way. I'm so excited about today's guest, Ramli John, and if you're in the SaaS world, you've probably come across his name. He's built a personal brand with 19,000 LinkedIn followers, and he's now the founder of Delight Path.
Nicole:Ramli has spent years helping companies like AppCues and GoDaddy turn users into lifelong customers through onboarding strategies. He's also the best-selling author of product-led onboarding, with more than 35,000 copies sold worldwide. But what truly stands out is how he aligns his work with his purpose, which is to leave the world a better place for his son. When we first met at the Hot Sauce Conference in New York City last year, I saw firsthand how dedicated he is to building real and meaningful connections. In today's episode, we'll explore not just his career success, but how he's aligned his work with his deeper mission. From making tough choices to the power of taking breaks for creativity, Ramli's journey is about creating a positive impact in both tech and life. You're going to walk away from this episode feeling really inspired, so don't go anywhere. Let's even start there. How did it take, how long did it take you, to get 18 000 followers on linkedin?
Ramli:that's really impressive oh man, yeah, that took years, years it's. It's accelerated in the last three years since I wrote a book. Um a've been more active on LinkedIn. I think that's the key is like consistently creating content for that and also replying to other folks. I think that's the other piece that people don't realize is like replying to other people actually helps as well, yeah, those comments are really where the gold is and that's actually a great way of connection.
Nicole:So you are really great at connecting with other people. Do you have like sort of this innate sort of feeling that you want to connect with people Because it always feels really genuine when you do it?
Ramli:I've always had a sense that connecting and, like you know, building relationship with people is like the, the path to success. You know, like there's people who are more you can sense right away they're more transactional. We're like, oh, uh, what do you do, uh, and what do I need? I remember being at a conference at dc, uhc, where I spoke at and somebody was just like oh, you said that you're connected with First Round, I'm a mentor there for the Fast Track program, first Round VC. It's like, oh, can you introduce me to one of the VCs? It's like I'm more of a mentor there for the Fast Track program. And then I remember she didn't even say goodbye, she just walked away, which is like whoa, and that's. There are people who are, of course, they're there to get what they need.
Ramli:And then I've realized that playing the long game, or like building that long-term relationship, is such a key part, like I wouldn't be where I'm at if I didn't have those certain relationships. Like the current job I had, in the previous job I had, I was friends with those those folks. First, before, um, the topic of working together came up, like with west bush. Uh, you know, we were connected for five, six years. Uh, we went both to the same university. He reached out out to me, we chatted, and then, with my current boss, eric Keating, we were connected for like five years. So I think building the long-term relationship has been super important. So I do the same like knowing that there might not be an immediate return in this in this moment, but you know, the the friendship will definitely, uh, help.
Nicole:We'll help each other and it's really about relationship building. You know, I've been in Germany now for six years. But you know, I'm Canadian and sometimes Germans will say to me you know, they don't say someone is their friend until a year of knowing them. And as a Canadian who loves everybody and who talks to everyone, I always found that really kind of scary at first. But they really play the long game here and it's sort of like once you're in, you're in. And it's not about it feeling exclusive, it's more like, yeah, it's that they want to take the time to build those relationships. And you really see that in your career trajectory. I mean, you know you started out I don't know if this was your first marketing role, but in Pepsi, you know way back in the day and now you are essentially your own brand right. So you started out really as an employee and now you're really like a hustler, like you're. Maybe you don't consider yourself a hustler because of course you still do have a regular job as well, but you have your hands in.
Nicole:So many other, other different things, you know? Um. So what drove you to even get into marketing, like, how did that even happen?
Ramli:yeah, I, we're backstory. At pepsico I was a marketing analyst. I was actually coding um, doing data for pepsico with the marketing team, so I was getting into like javascript and cobalt and things like that. So I actually studied math, computer science in my career and I wanted to change. So I I quit and then did a business degree and did my own startup.
Ramli:And the realization that you can build the coolest product, but if you don't know how to reach your customers or your users, then what's the point? And I realized, like, if my my long-term goal always has been to be my own boss, okay, that's a skill that I need to hone. So I got into blogging and content and you know, when content marketing was a buzzword early in the days with Inbound that HubSpot was doing, I was blogging around lean startup and that got me invited to conferences to talk about lean startup and I ended up becoming a marketing consultant. So that's how I almost did a. What is that called?
Ramli:A zigzag, not a straight path in my career. You know, when I was a kid, I was like, oh, careers are linear. You start off as an associate, then a manager, then a director, then a VP. And I was like, oh, wow, okay, this is not the reality. There was a whole misconception around that, so that's kind of a zigzag way. That I ended up in marketing is through me wanting and desiring to learn skills so that I can eventually become my own boss.
Nicole:Oh, I love that Entrepreneur to the max. Would you say that that is one of your life mission, your soul mission, your soul mission, your, your purpose in life? Is one of them to to be free to be your own boss. Is it? Is it part of that?
Ramli:It's definitely a life goal. I've I've always wanted to have a sense of, of control of my time. So, like what I'm working on, have the freedom to of my time. So, like what I'm working on, have the freedom to to choose who or what I work with, and that's definitely something that I'm getting closer and closer towards. I'm super excited to do that. Uh, you know, I've come to realize that, especially, you know, you're based out of germany.
Ramli:In in america, I work with a lot of american colleagues. It's, it's just so. They're so work centric.
Ramli:There was a comment I remember recently somebody said to me where in in europe, when you ask and correct me if I'm wrong, because you've been there longer, if you, if you ask somebody, what do you do? They in america, they, they tell you what your job is oh, I'm a designer, I'm a marketer. In europe, it's like no, they, that's not the first thing they necessarily say. They're like oh, they say their hobby, they say what they're known for or what they're good at versus what they do. And that's something that I've come to realize is that I don't want to be defined by my career per se like the longest, you know, long term, my impact here in the world is how I, uh, you know, pass on and impact uh others uh through through my work and, um, you know, that's definitely something that I've been thinking a lot more lately, as I have you know you mentioned earlier before recorded I have a two-year-old kid and that gave me a lot more perspective as to like what I want to pass on to the next generation.
Nicole:I really felt your words and it took me back to being in the North American system for so long. And now I'm not and it took me probably three years to come down off of it because I was still always working and working on weekends and working nights and always had like three things on the go and, you know, taking vacations like way last minute and it took me a long time to get out of that that thing. And even now when I talk about, when people ask me what I do, if I even talk about my job, some people are like oh, that's boring, or like nobody wants to hear it, like people aren't that interested. People aren't that interested, they're more like hey, like what are you passionate about? What do you love to do?
Nicole:And it's very different, Right, and I'll find myself sometimes when I'm meeting new people, it's like I'm a writer, I'm a podcast host, I'm a and really identifying with those, those job titles, Right. So it's been like a stripping down for me too, you know, but which brings me to this sort of this, this life purpose you have. You know, you have a son now, you have this career and sort of this brand that you've been building. How do you merge the two? First of all, let's start with the first part. Do you I do have like a mission statement or a life purpose that you would like to share with us?
Ramli:Yeah, it's something that I really have been thinking a lot more lately. Like I mentioned, I have a kid turning two years old next week, which is the middle of July, and something that a YouTuber which is ironic, an American YouTuber who was also in the system. He was working at Apple and NASA and he was being recruited to go to Facebook and he quit to become a science YouTuber. He gave a commencement speech once and he was talking about his life purpose and it really arrested him because he has a kid as well who unfortunately yeah, he's on the spectrum, he's on other.
Ramli:His kid is on the spectrum and he's been really more reflective and he said that one of the things that he wants to do in the world is leave the world better than when you were in it, and to me, that's like such a good. When he just told his story about his kid and like he's like struggling to learn and why he started YouTube like man, that just like resonated with me deeply, like my work and my time here on earth, like how, when I leave here which is like kind of dark, but like when I leave here, how can I leave it in a better place than it was before and that's something that I've been thinking like what, what does that look like, what does that feel like, what does that sound and smell like? And and I'm still figuring it out that is like definitely, like my longer term, like mission would be like okay, I have this kid. How do I make it better for him when he, when, when I'm, you know, when he's grown up?
Nicole:wow, I really, really um felt that as you you said that and um, it it really resonated with me too, you know, and because, yeah, I don't think it's dark where you're going. We, we all will leave the earth at some point. Right, and you know, we only have so many days in the air not to be grim or anything, cause we, the glass is half full, you know, and we, we do have time here and it's really, you know, how do we want to leave it and how do you, and how do you take this wanting to leave the world a better place for your son, and how do you bridge that in your, in your day to day, because it all, it all works together. You know, you're not just going to work and it's like, okay, I'm not going to do anything in my purpose, because it's completely separate from that, and you know. So, with that in mind, how do you choose speaking engagements or how you interact with new clients and jobs and stuff like that with this purpose?
Ramli:Yeah, I think that's something that you know that I've been thinking as well, more about. I think the way that I think about it is like can I add and really make an impact here? Can I help? Can I, you know, leave when I come in? When I leave, is it better than what it was?
Ramli:And if the answer is no, which actually just happened a few weeks ago a couple weeks ago where I was having a conversation with somebody who wanted to chat with me about fixing their onboarding, and then it was like, oh, we went through the conversation and then I realized that their problem was not onboarding, it was actually positioning and messaging.
Ramli:And I was like I just straight up, like it sounds like you already have a plan for onboarding and you just want to tell your story better. I'm not the right person, but let me introduce you to somebody else. And I think that that confidence not necessarily confidence, but like knowing that, hey, when you come in here, sure you can do the work, but can you, can I be, am I the best person to leave this lead, this, and leave it better than what it was the answer was no. So I ended up introducing him to a colleague of mine who does product marketing advising, and so that's that's how I I think about um. You know who I, who I choose to work with, as well as like potentially where I could speak, or can I, can I add value here? If not, then might not be the best opportunity for both of us.
Nicole:You know it's it's uh for myself and for the other person you know that takes a lot of strength, it takes belief in yourself and it takes um sort of this inner knowing that everything's going to be okay. Especially, you know if sometimes pay can be really good. You have a family. I mean, life is not cheap these days, right, um? And you know it can be easy to be like hey, yeah, check like this, but then if it doesn't align to what? Like hey, yeah, check like this, but then if it doesn't align to what you're doing, um, is that going to just take energy from you down the road and is it just kind of, you know, take away time from your son or whatever? You know as well.
Ramli:So yeah, that's really great. Yeah, it's something that I've realized as well around you know, you mentioned the word time time away from the sun and I forgot who I got this from I think it was a mentor previously where, like, every time I say yes to something, I'm saying no to to something else. Like if I say yes to my boss, like oh, I'll, yes, I'll work later tonight to do this that means I'm saying no to my spending more time with my son and giving a little bath that night. So that is something that I've been thinking a lot about. I think that's a little bit more perspective as well with that.
Nicole:What you said yeah, and it's those choices right, because we only have so many hours really in the day. You know so really beautiful. I want to get to actually your role as an day. You know so really beautiful. Um, I want to get to actually your your role as an author. You know so many people have ideas. Um, many people want to write a book. Some people go oh, I can't write a book because everyone's written a book Nobody reads anymore. There's already books to be written or there's already enough books in the world. How did you break through? First of all, did you have any of those doubts before you ever?
Ramli:wrote product led marketing 100%. I think it's part of the process, something I don't tell people. I have never told this on a podcast. I actually tried writing a previous book on my own, lee, I forgot what it's called lean marketing or lean growth, something like that. That was during my phase where I was like really into lean startup and eric reese just wrote his book and I was like, oh, how could I apply this into marketing? Uh, it was. It was such a struggle I think I was like, oh, I gave up. So what changed differently? Here was like somebody like believed in me first and somebody was guiding me through it. Who's done it? Like Wes was Bush who wrote product like growth. Like he wrote it and he was like, okay, you know, just gotta, just gotta, shut down. Do you believe in this? We were working with other folks other companies are not improving the onboarding and we had a process we wanted. I wanted to write it down, I wanted to be known for that. So I ended up writing it, and that was the difference between the two.
Ramli:Experience was having somebody in my corner who can be like, yeah, you got it, you can write this. You know you're the right person to write this? I keep going, rather than just like having this, this inner doubt. Like who are you to write this? I keep going, rather than just like having this, this inner doubt. Like who are you to write this book? Why would you write? Like why you? And? And like who nobody would? Nobody's gonna read this? Like things like that. That is in in the back of my mind when I was trying to write the first one do you ever just think about all the connections in your life and how they've shaped you Really?
Nicole:where we put our energy, the people we choose to keep around?
Nicole:These all have a way of quietly shaping our future, and often in ways we can't predict, and with so many interactions on any given day, it can all feel very transactional, but when it comes to building those genuine long-term relationships, that's what really helps us to achieve our goals and connect us to our true nature.
Nicole:In the next segment of our episode, Ramli goes deeper into his connection with Wes Bush, a friendship that ended up fueling the next chapter of his career, with Wes becoming a mentor who pushed him to write his best-selling book. And to loosely paraphrase one of my favorite passages from Alan Watts, we really never know how our circumstances are going to change and that our needs for different people changes. So often it's just that one person showing up with the right background and skills and nature that can just help you change the trajectory of your life. So stick around, because we're about to dive into how Ramli and Wes transformed a casual friendship into a business partnership that changed everything. Tell me a bit more about Wes. How did you like, how did you meet him and is he somebody that's really been a like a mentor in your life?
Ramli:yeah, yeah, we. We both studied the same university different years and he was trying to do something an agency and he reached out. This was like eight years ago. We just stayed in touch. I think that was uh, that's something that a value, like you don't know who in your current context will end up becoming, you know, a business partner or a partner in general in life, and that that that was how we connected was through serendipity, and we connected through LinkedIn, and then we had a conversation on a call and we just stayed in touch throughout, updating each other on what we're doing. Now he doesn't live that far from me actually, it's like 45 minutes away and we typically meet up quite a bit like my, my wife knows his partner, his, his girlfriend, and we've gone on hikes together and it's just really, you know, it was too serendipity, really like I don't know how else to explain it like it's yeah do you believe in like fate and destiny and yeah, that's a good question.
Ramli:I uh, it's something that I've. I listened to this podcast quite a bit, how I built this by Guy Ross. I'm sure a lot of people have heard it. His last question usually is like how much of your success is luck versus like? And yes, I do. There is certain things that you can't, that I can't attribute to my hard work or my innate ability, or my innate ability or my charisma or skills. There are certain things in life that people come to your life at the right moment to give you the right encouragement or right words, and so I think that's and you never know who, you never know who you are. You being, that's you for somebody else. At that moment you didn't realize, I didn't even realize it. So I think that's super critical.
Nicole:You know, and even just the writing a book, and then you have somebody that you meet at the right time who says you can do it and it's all it all connects right Like writing a book. And then you have somebody that you meet at the right time who says you can do it and it's all it all connects right. It's like writing a book, though is. I mean, it's just looks like a big, like like mountain in front of you, right, and it's really a book is written one word at a time. How did you just be like, oh, even when it's like so hard to write and you're sitting in front of a computer and frozen, what kept you going? What kept you motivated?
Ramli:Yeah.
Ramli:I do recall this one chapter in the book. It was chapter nine in the book of the product line onboarding, where I just, like, was smacking my head on the table Because, like I couldn't figure out how to phrase it or how to structure it or how to say it without sounding in my head I call it without sounding idiotic, I think the rest of the chapters, because I had the outline, they just came out easily. The first draft, the chapter nine, was the biggest struggle and I think it goes back to what we've been talking about, like having somebody in your corner. There was definitely west. My wife was also supportive. He saw, she saw me like, just like banging my head on the table, just like, how do we phrase this?
Ramli:The other thing that's been helpful as well it's just taking a break. I think that's an important element of success that people don't talk enough about On LinkedIn and Instagram and Twitter. They're like, oh, just keep going and hustle and keep pushing through. But especially for creative work, taking a break and walking away and just coming back to it um allows your brain to do the work that it needs to do. I got that phrase from a copywriter named eddie schlainer. He said that just you know, when you take a break, you you let your brain do the work because, like, sometimes your brain is smart, right, like your, like your brain, you breathe naturally, you don't have to think about it. You do a lot of stuff like walking, without thinking about it, but, like when you take a break, you let your brain connect the dots.
Ramli:And after a while it just made sense. I think that's the just things connected and it's like okay, I got it, let's put it down on paper.
Nicole:So I think that's that's something that's been helpful, just like just walk away and go actually go for a walk outside and, and you know, breathe fresh air, or, if it's winter, go out in the cold and do something I just wrote that down and I'm going to say it again because I want this to really come out on the podcast, because I think that is one of the most brilliant and I mean it's so easy but yet it's so hard for us to do when we're in the midst of achievement and trying to reach a goal and trying to get something done and get it checked off our list. You know, it's when you take a break, you allow your brain to work and that's when everything comes together right. Sometimes they say the best thing in life is I mean, for creative people is to really do nothing and to really get bored and to allow yourself to get bored and do nothing, which is so hard to do. Always on our phones, we're always clicking here, clicking there, clicking there.
Nicole:How do you work in that boredom time, that rest time? As a father husband, you know doing everything you do. How do you carve that on your day? For people who are listening right now, who are having so much on the go like you, what advice would you give for giving yourself that time away?
Ramli:Yeah, I think giving a, I mean that's a perfect thing. You know, there's a few things that have been helpful. Like I have a really great partner who you know we work together. Um, you know, we, we support each other. And like I, I have my, you know, we each take care of zane, our two-year-old, together.
Ramli:The other thing is like, um, I think just carving in something that I do with my calendar is like actually block off. This is baby time, this is, like you know, gym time and lunch time, because, like, if it's not on your calendar, like your team will find, like find ways to sneak it in. And I, I mean, that's the great thing about having great uh colleagues is that they, they're all you know, they're, they're respectful of that. If you block it off and say this is, you know, I have a kid's appointment, or this is, you know uh time for me to, uh, you know, take care of on my kid in the morning so that I can, you know, get started in the morning, uh, and then they're, they've been respectful of that. So it's like blocking off those time in my calendar has been super, super helpful as well.
Ramli:I do that for a bunch of things. I forgot where I learned this from. Like, I have like days like like, let's say, monday, I block that whole monday off, usually for you know, creative work. And then thursday is writing work. So like, uh, I would block it off and say in Google Calendar, this is focus time and it says creative writing, sprint or work, and then in quotation I put if it's urgent, feel free to book, but ask me first, so that people have been very respectful of that as well, so that I can really have days where I don't have any meetings, which is super helpful for you know, time for you to do the creative work or writing or creating or thinking about future work that you want to do.
Nicole:So, okay, yeah, so, making it really a non negotiable and actually getting it set as just another part of your day, you, so that's, that's great advice. Yeah, um, I, I started to do that as well too. Um, I've taken a long break since my last job from from hot jar and, uh, really had to get bored again myself to get to the the creative back. So, and one of the things so thank you for saying that was putting those times in my calendar as well, for you know, here, here, here, so it was really good. Coming back to Wes, I read in in one of your I think it was your 2023 roundup Um, one of his, his tips to you, or some of his advice to you hard choices, easy life, easy choices, hard life. So can you share some hard choices that maybe stand out to you in? You can do whatever you want career, personal, whatever that have helped you grow and still keep you connected to your purpose and values.
Ramli:Yeah, I think when I wrote that I was thinking more about the future is having a discussion with my wife about like, hey, is it, is it time for me to leave my full-time work to do my my solo consulting full-time, and I think that's that's. That's when the advice from wes came about. We're like you know, sometimes you got to make the hard choices now to have an easier life in the future. Uh, and that's that's where you know I'm figuring out the timing for that. I think that's you know when it's that right time to to do that specifically as well. Looking back, what a hard choice that I had done. That you know ended up becoming um helpful for me.
Ramli:I mentioned earlier around, uh, starting my own thing. That was really tough. Like starting off, I had a co-founder. We did a startup um. First it was you're gonna laugh at this we were like gonna create uh for for people who have passed away. We noticed that people create this memorial right, memorial pages for them. We were gonna like, if you look at that current, the whole experience currently is very feel, it feels like it was. It's like 90s experience. So we wanted to like make that more modernized and we had a discussion and like this is like really depressing. We should pivot. And we pivoted from death and we chose babies because we found that parents love scrapbooking their kids life. So we created this.
Ramli:We were both developers, we developed it, we coded it, and then we were both single guys, not married, and like what are we doing? Why are we like creating a product for people who are not us? Like this doesn't resonate with us and that just just killed. You know, at that moment it was like a hard, like why did we do this? This is hard, this we're, we're not, we're not, we're, we're not smart for getting with this. But like, looking back, that if I didn't do that, I wouldn wouldn't be where I am, I wouldn't have pursued marketing, I wouldn't have met Wes and I wouldn't have met this and it would have, you know, I wouldn't have realized that I had a missing skill set that would eventually set me up for the future. So that would be an example in the past where you know it was a hard choice at the moment and then I feel like it's really helped shape my trajectory and career.
Nicole:I don't know. You tell me that story and I see a problem solver and I see somebody who'd be perfect in marketing, perfect, going hey, this is what people need. I see what's in the market it sucks. And this is how we can go in and and and fix it for you, right? So I think it's actually we can go in and and um and fix it for you, right? So I think it's actually, like you say, probably like a step stepping stone to to where you are now, right, it's what is it? They say you can only um see who you are now. Looking back, like you, you have to connect the dots to see where it came from. You know, I don't know how you feel about this I believe there are no mistakes. There are only lessons and there are only things that help us move more and more forward to our life purpose and growing into who we're supposed to be as humans I totally agree with that.
Ramli:I think there's, you know it is even in experiments like role experiments or marketing experiments. I've never resonated with the word like, is this a success or a failure? I've always looked at it as is. Is it? Did you learn something from it? And if yes, then then it's a success. In another way, it is success and learning so that you can iterate from it, and that's that's true as well. You know, if there's, you know it's, the best teacher is life experience. You know, like messing up with something, I forgot who said this? Where it's? Uh, I think it's a football, a football coach who said, like you can really know somebody's character not when they win, but when they fail, when they lose, because that is really the best time to build character like it's. Will you like, will you carve in and quit, or will you learn from it and move forward? And and moving forward might mean that you pivot away from what you're originally doing. So I think that's uh, totally resonated with what you said there.
Nicole:There will be bad days. There's actually always going to be bad days, and when they come, it can be so easy to just think that they're never going to end. And there's that quote by Winston Churchill that I love when you're in hell, keep going, because really that's where the breakthroughs happen, when you push through the hardest moments. And Ramli's about to share a deeply personal story about his father's health care, which really shifted his outlook on life and work. It's important because it's these moments, the ones that shake us. These are the ones that end up shaping us the most. They give us clarity on what truly matters and force us to make some of the hardest but most meaningful choices. For Ramli, it wasn't just a wake-up call. It was a moment that changed how he looked at time, family and where he puts his energy. So you want to stick around for this part, because he's going to share how this experience shaped his perspective on work-life balance and taking care of what matters most.
Ramli:My dad is somebody I look up to. He's, you know he, first of all, he has great values. Like he, I learned to value people through. Through him, you know the importance of relationships. And he's super healthy. Like he's one of the healthiest 67. He goes swims laps three times a week and I'm just uh, in the last year he had a shock that he had blockages in his heart arteries, which you know that's usually a not not somebody who's fit uh would experience, and the doctor was like, oh, this is probably genetic, which shocked all of us and he had to had an open, emergency, open heart surgery because when they found it, they're like this needs to be unblocked now.
Ramli:And they found like seven, I think seven or nine blockages that they needed to unblock right away. Or else, uh, the doctor said that it was a ticking time bomb, like if and that gave it shocked our, my whole family, like it was. You know, I have three siblings, I'm the oldest. Uh, my mom was shocked too because, like man, my dad is healthy and something I didn't say in in this, in this recap that you read, is that my dad has a twin, like an identical twin, and my, his identical twin hasn't been active physically. So, like the comparison of how my dad looks uh, ramon looks like to his, his twin ray, it's like night and day my dad's fit, he's like, and they were just totally shocked for me.
Ramli:That put a lot of perspective into like what we've we've been talking a lot about, about like hard choices and easy life, about how saying yes to things means that you're saying no to others, and it made me value time spent not overworking rather than spending more time with family and making sure that I'm setting them up for for success as well. Uh, and yeah, I think that's, I think it's impacted the way I think about work. Uh, for sure, and like you know, being too, um, you know, too eager to to work overtime or work on weekends is something that that I I'm typically used to. That's shifted since I had a kid, of course, and now it's even shifted more since this experience.
Nicole:Sure Did it change the way you treat yourself.
Ramli:Yeah, it's something that for sure, I think I've been checking my high blood pressure more and trying to stay fit more and making sure that I live to see Zane grow up, essentially To hopefully see him get married and have a career and see him start making the world a better place. So, yes, really shifted the way that I also take care of myself, um, both physically and mentally. I think that's been super important where you know, um staying healthy there.
Nicole:You know, sometimes these, these, you know, these illnesses can really rattle us and shake us up. I, I, I went through something about seven years ago where it was like my life could have been very different from. It is now and it, um, I always say it's the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time it was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
Nicole:But, um, this is just what I, what I hear sort of in this resonating when you, when you speak about with, with your father, and how it's made you think differently. It's sort of in this resonating when you, when you speak about with, with your father, and how it's made you think differently. It's sort of like, okay, all right, it's you, you see the impermanence of everything, and not to get all Buddha on the mountaintop here, but the time is limited and you know, and it's like, okay, you can, either you can go this way or you can go this way, right, and you know if you can choose a high, a path that'll take you sort of higher so you can actually feel good while you're here, or you can stay your old way and keep that. So, yeah, that's really um, yeah, it's, it's one of those, those things that really shakes you and but can also be really great later, know, um, yeah, so thank you for really thank you for sharing that. I imagine how's your, how's your dad now?
Ramli:he's doing well. Yeah, I mean, he was, um, the doctor told he he was more sad after the surgery, that he couldn't swim. Yeah, okay, I was like, oh, I can't swim. Oh no, what do so like? And then January this year he's much healthier, I think. And then we've since traveled, because one of the things that happened was the doctor told me we can't fly and we've gone to the whole family. Like you know, there's three siblings, and then me and my brother are married. We both have kids, one kid each. So all of us we flew to a destination to just have a vacation in March. So it's doing well. Yeah, we went to Cuba.
Nicole:Where did you go we?
Ramli:had fun and in September we're going to Dominican Republic. I think just lounge around just hang out and chill yeah.
Nicole:Oh, Caribbean vacation. Oh yeah, that's always a great idea. Always a great idea.
Nicole:Growing up as a wild teenager, my father used to say to me youth is wasted on the young, and at the time I didn't know what he meant.
Nicole:But if you think about it now, I sort of see more why he was saying that to me. You know, we have these young free bodies and minds and here we are just wasting them away. Of course, that's not really what we're doing, and not everyone's doing that but really, if you could go back in time with all the knowledge that you have right now, but really, if you could go back in time with all the knowledge that you have right now, would you change it? For me, the answer is absolutely no, and one of the biggest reasons is that without all the lessons, all the wake-up calls, all the mistakes, all the stupid things I did, I wouldn't be who I am today, and I know that sounds really cliche, but I don't think I would have honored the gift of being alive like I do now. So I invite you to think about this for a minute what would you do with all the knowledge you have now? Would you do it again? Stay tuned and let's hear what Ramli has to say about this matter.
Ramli:When I was younger and this is something that I've heard from other folks as well where my young self was very like I'm running out of time, where I'm seeing things in Tech Crunch and other things were like, oh, they're a 20 year old and they've like, started a startup and now they've sold it for a billion dollars it was quite popular in the early 2000s where you see Facebook and things like that and I felt like I was running out of time. It's like I need to do this, I need to do this now, or if I don't do this by this time, then I am a failure or I'm not good enough. That's through therapy and having great people around me come to realize like tying success to trying self-report to success is not a great time. It's never great mentally and everything else, and that's something that I would probably tell my younger self that you know you got time. Slow it down, cherish the moment three people while, uh, you know, in the rush of trying to get things out, I was a little bit more harsh.
Ramli:I remember reading uh steve jobs book and how harsh he was with people. Uh, the one written by walter isaacson. It's like, oh, I need to be like that and I'm looking back. What was looking back to it was like man, I, I, that was a mistake, uh, learning experience. You know not to treat people well. Uh, it gets like there's there's time. Then the way you treat them uh is they can come back to you and you don't know who they talk to and you they might end up becoming colleagues, but they choose not to now because how you treated them. So I think that's one thing that I would redo is just take more breaks, relax, uh reassess if things are not working out and and just move, move forward. Be more gentle to people.
Nicole:I love that. What else would they say? What would actually? Here's something I was thinking. Somebody wants say I want to write a book. Ramli, you know I'm a writer. I'll just use myself as an example or to anyone who's listening I want to write a book, but I'm freaked out. I don't know what to write about. What advice would you give me if I just wanted, if I want to do it, but I don't even know where the hell to begin?
Ramli:Yeah, there's two parts that I heard there there's. The first part is I don't know what to write about, and the second one is like I'm freaked out, or they could be tied, or like I'm freaked out because I don't know what to write about. So I think we're yeah, I would start where if I would you know with a, with a second question about where do what do I want to write about? I think that's. It depends if it's non-fiction or a business book or if it's more fiction and it's like a passion. You know something that's more fiction focused If it's nonfiction.
Ramli:The one thing that I've heard asked, you know somebody mentioned to me is what do you want to be known for? Like, what is it If you had to attach your name you know, nicole to a concept or a word or an idea? What is that? And if that's the word or attachment, whatever that is figuring that out first and this is part of this show is figuring out your life purpose, figuring out what you want to be known for. Maybe it's not your whole life purpose, but what you know, your work, work, mission or purpose itself. That's a great place to start because, like you, crafting a book about it Now people will know you for that specifically. People invite you to talk about that topic that you care about. That's something that you want you can talk about for hours per se. So that's where I would start for that.
Ramli:To the second question about, like you know, what do I do?
Ramli:Like, how do I stop freaking out? I think people having people around you who's done it, like, the one thing that I found was is that book authors or authors in writing a book is is such a painful process and when you talk to people who and just ask for advice and reach out hey, I'm thinking about writing a book to other authors they're so, so open and helpful because they know the pain of goes to writing it. So when I was writing the book, I got a chance to reach out to a few other authors, like april dunford he's she's based out of toronto and niriyal, who wrote the book, hooked because west knew him and just like um, just chatting with them and it really helped. Uh, and a few other folks who have.
Ramli:You know I've returned. I've since returned the favor to people who who's wanted to write book, like you know, eddie schlener he's coming out with his book and you know, um, you know other other folks, he's such a good writer, yeah yes, yeah, and then, um, you know georgiana lottie, when she wrote her book, uh, we, we chatted uh for a bit as well.
Ramli:So, like I think, that's, that's the thing also.
Sian:She's so cool yeah, she is.
Ramli:Oh yeah, she was there at hot jar, she was. She was so awesome. That's how we know each other. So I would say that do the second part, like reach out to a few, to a few, a few authors, and just say, hey, um, I'm thinking about writing a book, like would love to just buy you coffee, just more virtual thing, so that we can, we can chat about it, because chances are they they'd be open to it, unless they're you know somebody like malcolm gladwell or seth coden which they're too busy.
Ramli:But, like in general, like book authors are a community because they know the pain that goes through it. Like nothing connects people to each other more, more than something painful. You know it could, it could be. Nothing connects people to each other more than something painful. It could be people who are like community managers. They're great because they know the pain of managing a community or having community around a certain group, because they know the pain that it goes through that. So I think that's what I've been. I found the book author community has been. It's very, very supportive with each other.
Nicole:I love that. You know, that is really sort of this guiding statement for me, and it's really what I take the most out of our conversation, because you can. You can apply this anywhere. Say, if you are somebody who is a new content creator and you don't know where to start, or you don't know where to start and you've got all these ideas. But if you go with this sort of what do I want to be known for? What do I want to be known for on TikTok, instagram, linkedin, or maybe that's just a side thing, but what do you want to be known for, you can actually use that in all aspects of your career.
Nicole:Really, actually, that actually makes it quite easy. And I love how you also said, like what is it you could just talk about for for hours, you know, and then it's really that it's almost embarrassing how easy it actually is. Once you I think it was Oprah who says it right, people don't get where they want to go because they don't know, right, but if you know what it is you like and you follow that passion, it actually all starts connecting. It's not like a walk in the park. It's still hard, it doesn't come easy, but it's easier because it's what lights you up and gets you into that flow state too. So damn, that's good. I needed that, see, I needed that today. So, when our audience is listening to this, I think that's really going to help a lot of people actually, and it's so simple, but it's overlooked because we always think we have to like, produce and get all the followers and do this. Yeah, what do you want to be known for?
Ramli:Yeah, because we always think we have to produce and get all the followers and do this. What do you want to be known for? Yeah, I mean, I mentioned I wrote a book on onboarding. I think there's the other thing what problem in the world do you want to fix? What do you want to live behind that, so to speak? I've been thinking a lot about, like, activation and retention problems, uh, for my work, and I think that's not it's not often talked enough about because, uh, you know acquisition and you gotta get the sale and you do that, and I wrote the book on onboarding I'm writing a book about.
Ramli:The second book I'm working on is about customer delight because, like, the light is when you, when it happens, it feels like, if, like, especially if it's a digital product, uh, it's like, wow, there's something special here. And you know how do you even define, how do you measure delight? Uh, you know where, where does it go? Those are the kind of questions that started popping up that me and my co-author, uh, have started digging into. We've started chatting, you know. We've chatted with over 40 companies now, um, that have worked on delight companies, people who's worked at, like, mailchimp and at, uh other places uh, that is, that is chewy and everywhere else, like even Disney and Apple. Like how do you think about that? How do you design it? What happens when leadership is like oh, that's not necessarily, let's cut that off. So I think that's what I wanna be known for is around helping people fix activation and retention problems. How about yourself? Have you started thinking about that?
Nicole:You know, that's a really good question For me. I have to say, my overarching life purpose, soul mission, is to help others see their light and to help people rise to the best versions of themselves. And it actually came to me when I was about 22 years old. I was struggling with really crippling anxiety and panic attacks. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted to be, and I struggled with them for a long time and I remember saying then you know, I remember just being one day and you know I remember just being one day. I was like one day I'm going to figure out who I am, why I'm so nervous all the time and why I'm so scared, and I'm going to use that to help other people and that's going to be my life mission, because I don't want anyone to feel like they are alone or struggling, and so really, that's what guides me every day, even though even I'm working as a writer, editor, working in marketing, I have to make OKRs, I have to do all the stuff everyone else does. I always like to make, I always like people to feel that they are important, they matter, and I like bringing out their, their light and where they really shine and where they do really well.
Nicole:So what that is as a career, I don't know. I'm kind of doing it, though. You know I interview people, I do podcasts, I work in marketing, I work as a community manager. You know I'm always connecting people, but it's always that core thing. Maybe it's okay. Maybe it's being the, the woman I needed when I was, you know, 22 years old, or the person you know it's. It's not gender specific, but being that, that person that says, hey, you got this, you can do this. Yeah, what that is, I don't know, probably.
Ramli:The world's your oyster. You have a lot of places you can go towards if you want it.
Nicole:Thank you. I mean, I'm always a writer at heart. I always love telling stories. I love telling brand stories. I love connecting brands with their audience in a human-centric way. You know, if I was to write a story about you, maybe at AppCues, I would want to connect people to what you do at your core, so sort of maybe connecting in a bit of an unconventional way but still sort of aligned in sort of that business system as well. I'm not that too esoteric, I'm not that far out as well, like I like to merge all of it. So, yeah, anyway, thank you for that. One more question for you, because I love this question and I saw it on an interview and I hadn't asked it for a while. But you could have dinner with one person, alive or not alive. Who would it be and why? Wow?
Ramli:That's such a good question.
Nicole:I know I love this one.
Ramli:Yeah, I would probably say I'd pick a live person first, probably say, uh, try to pick a live person first. Live person, I I would wouldn't. I would love to have dinner with bill gates. Um, not just because of of, um, of what you know, microsoft obviously co-founded that. But I recently read yesterday that steve ballmer and him they both co-founded microsoft, but steve ballmer is like exponentially richer than my, than bill gates, and the reason why is, yeah, because bill gates has been giving away a large portion of his, his, his wealth, to to causes that solve world problems, like hunger and even like clean water in Africa, like, like, he's just like so ingrained in, um, you know, all this philanthropy and making the leaving the world a better place, and you know just, he even has his own youtube channel, but he talks about this, which is super interesting. So, I think, just asking him what drives him and like how he works, because he I heard he has an interesting work schedule and challenge based on the netflix uh documentary or documentary about him oh, that was really good.
Ramli:Yeah, it is, I loved that actually it's a good one, yeah, being around people who care about other people, even though they're at this certain level of fame, where it's so easy to be at that level, to be a diva, to expect certain things from people where now you're like, oh, I'm better than you, which is that's not the vibe that even you know. One day, if, if I'm ever become, if I ever become at the same level of fame as coldplay I, I would want to keep you know, remain grounded and and feel uh, people feel like I'm only talking to them when I'm talking to them rather than being somewhere else, and really that's it.
Nicole:You know, offering your presence to another human is like the highest form of respect that you can give. You know, Ramli, this has been incredible. I can't thank you enough for being one of our first guests on this value-driven podcast. Always a pleasure to talk to you. I always feel better after spending time with you, so that's something that you have and that's something that nobody can take from you. And what is? I think it was Maya Angelou that said people never forget what you say, but they always remember how you make them feel, and you make people feel good. So thank you for being here.
Ramli:Thank you so much. You're welcome. That's a great compliment.
Nicole:I hope today's episode brought you inspiration and insight into what it means to live a purpose driven life. If you enjoyed this conversation, please subscribe and leave us a review. Your feedback helps us grow and reach more listeners who are on their own journey to finding and living their purpose. And remember living with purpose isn't some far-off destination. It's a journey that we're all on together. So if you aren't living your purpose fully right now, don't worry. If you're still alive, your mission on Earth is not complete. So keep going, and until next time. I'm Nicole Gottselig and this is Connect With Purpose.
Sian:Thanks for joining us on Connect With Purpose, produced by Titan One. Connect With Purpose is hosted by Nicole Gotsselig, executive producer, Mark Glucki, producer, Sian Sue - hey, that's me. Special thanks to Mark Edwards, editing, Monica Lo and dave chow design and Charlie the office dog. Do you have an inspiring story, or maybe you know someone who's followed their passion to find a new purpose? Reach out on our site. We'd love to hear from you.
